in that moment I live eternities
by neverephemeral
Summary: This was what pure love felt like. It was different than the love she felt for her da or Bain or Tilda-even Fili.
**Hello everyone! :) Enjoy this light hearted, filled with many feels part of the series. (:**

* * *

 **S** igrid awoke to the soft cries of Frerin and she softly laughed to herself. Fili had left for an early morning meeting with Thorin and the others, so it was just her and their son. She had become use to waking up to Frerin crying in the morning and she found that she did not mind it. It had taken her two years but she had finally given Fili a son. Sigrid rose from the bed and walked over to Frerin's crib, which sat at the end of her and Fili's, and smiled down at her son.

"Hello, my sweet boy," she cooed and picked the baby up in her arms. "Someone's hungry." She held him close to her chest, giving the top of his head light kisses. "Come on then. Breakfast." Sigrid walked back over to their bed and sat down; she pulled down the right side of her nightgown and Frerin took to her breast immediately.

As Frerin suckled, Sigrid hummed softly, looking down at him with such fondness and delight. "My sweet boy," she whispered as she kissed his tiny hand. This was what pure love felt like. It was different than the love she felt for her da or Bain or Tilda- even Fili.

Once Frerin was done feeding, Sigrid placed a cloth on her shoulder and gently burped him. "There we go." She pulled Frerin back and smiled as he looked at her with his father's eyes. "I do believe you will be a spitting image of your father."

A knock at the door interrupted Sigrid's moment with her son. Only a second later, the door opened and Sigrid's smile only became wider when Bard entered.

"I hope I'm not bothering you," Bard said.

She shook her head, "you're never a bother, da. Frerin just had breakfast."

"An early riser," Bard smiled, "just like his mother."

"I was an early riser?"

He nodded, "it seemed you and the sun shared the same schedule. You went to bed early and rose early. It amused your mother greatly."

Sigrid sighed and kissed Frerin's forehead, "I wish she was here to meet him."

"Me too, love," Bard kissed the top of Sigrid's head. "She is watching over the both of you."

She nodded and held out Frerin to her da who took him with a wide smile on his face. Frerin had taken to his grandfather and she knew that Frerin would hold a special place in her da's heart; not just because he was his first grandchild either. Bard walked over to the chairs in front of the fireplace and sat down in Sigrid's, Frerin moving about in his arms; waving his little arms and kicking his little legs. When he reached his left arm out, he knocked Bard's nose which only made the man laugh and kiss his knuckles. Bard looked over to his daughter, who stood in the bedroom doorway watching her da and son together; "he reminds me of you." Bard paused a moment, he stared at the baby; a serene look upon his face, he shook his head.

"What?" Sigrid asked.

"It's strange," Bard said, "to be holding my grandson when only the other day I was holding you as a babe."

"Only the other day?" Sigrid teased.

"No," he shook his head, "the other day I was walking you down the aisle."

Sigrid laughed and sat in Fili's chair. "I can't believe that he's a month old today."

"They grow fast," Bard said. "Cherish these moments, Sigrid."

"Did you cherish them?"

Bard looked over at her, "I still am cherishing them. I am so proud of you, Sigrid."

"I love you, da," Sigrid smiled. "I'm happy that I have you with me."

"I love you too," Bard replied as Frerin made a noise. Both of them laughed as Bard stared down at him, "and I love you, too!"

* * *

Sigrid had a navy blue shawl wrapped loosely around her shoulders, as it wasn't too chilled outside for it being mid September. Frerin was dressed warmly and whenever the wind blew, he would turn and nuzzle his face into the side of his mother's neck. She wanted her son to have some fresh air and she wanted to stretch her legs a bit, not wanting to be inside the mountain walls. So far, Frerin was enjoying his first time outside. "You see over there, Frerin," Sigrid pointed with her left finger, "that is Dale. That is where your grandfather, Uncle and Aunt live."

"Not his favorite Uncle though."

Sigrid turned and smiled as Kili walked over to them, "favorite?"

Kili nodded, "Oh yes." He smiled and tickled Frerin's stomach, "isn't that right Rin? I'm your favorite Uncle."

Frerin giggled and leaned toward him. Sigrid laughed and held out the baby to the dwarf who eagerly took him into his own arms. "Careful Kili, watch his head," she said gently, "you still need to support it."

"Your mama acts as though this is my first time holding you," Kili sighed and winked at her. "I understand though. She's just being an amazing mother."

Sigrid smiled, touched by Kili's statement. It always seemed that when he wasn't in her own arms, she worried; although she trusted everyone to hold him. A mother's worry no doubt. Also it had been quite some time since a baby was around and Frerin was the first to be born in Erebor since before Smaug had taken over it. Kili walked over, bouncing Frerin in his arms, to the blanket that Sigrid had brought out for them and sat down.

"You make cute babies," Kili said.

Sigrid sat down beside them, "thank you, Kili." She laughed and reached out, brushing the back of Frerin's head with her fingers gently and smiled when he cooed.

"What is it?" Kili asked.

"It took me two years but I finally delivered Fili his son," Sigrid said. "I showed Frerin his brother's grave earlier."

"Sigrid," gasped Kili.

She shook her head, "it's alright, Kili. It is the way life goes. It is reality." She looked at him. "Just as it is reality that I may pass before I see my son fully grown."

Kili shook his head, "do not speak like that."

"He's half dwarf," Sigrid said. "I am mortal. We knew that this was going to be the way. At least this way, Fili will not be alone."

"Does my brother know that you're thinking like this?"

Sigrid shook her head, "we do not speak of my death. It's a sore topic."

"I'm sorry for what I said before," Kili said. "I did not mean… You are my sister, Sigrid. You're as dear to me as Fili is."

"As you are to me," Sigrid smiled.

Kili smiled, "you have many years left here. Let us not dwell on the dark future that lays so far ahead." He bumped his nose against Frerin. "Let us dwell on the fact that Frerin loves me most. Well, besides you of course," he smirked at Sigrid, "but definitely more than my brother."

Sigrid laughed, "Kili, he is his father."

"I'm his favorite Uncle."

Sigrid laughed, which in turn made Frerin gurgle, and that only made Kili and Sigrid laugh even more. As she watched Kili with his nephew, she knew that one day he would make a wonderful father.

* * *

"He just adores the blanket that you made him," Sigrid said as she watched Dis rock the cradle with Frerin in it. He was swaddled in said blanket as he slept.

"Then I shall make him another," Dis said.

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense," Dis shook her head and brushed Frerin's forehead with her thumb. "He is my first grandchild and I shall spoil him."

Sigrid laughed, "of course."

Dis laughed and sat back in her chair as she stared down at the baby in the cradle. She sighed and shook her head, "seeing him sleeping like that reminds me of my boys when they were babes."

"My da says that every time he holds Frerin," Sigrid said. "That he reminds him of when I was a baby."

"Aye," Dis nodded and looked over to her daughter-in-law, "it's true for parents whenever they're child has a baby. To me, Fili is still my little one. They're always going to my babies, my boys." She smiled. "Frerin will always be your baby. The older he gets, the more you will think back to when he was a wee one." She gestured to Frerin sleeping in the cradle, "rocking in his cradle, sleeping so peacefully."

Silence wrapped itself around the two women as they watched Frerin with fond expressions. Sigrid enjoyed her moments alone with Dis. The sense of longing that she had for her mother, although it never fully went away, was soothed by Dis' presence. Dis was the only one who could understand Sigrid's emotions and love for Frerin because she herself was a mother. Sigrid felt more at ease knowing that Dis was there and that her son would know a grandmother's love.

* * *

One of Sigrid's favorite moments with her son was bath time. She would draw a bath for herself, filling the tub with warm water and having some bubbles put in and then she would hold Frerin in her arms as they bathed together. She would laugh as Frerin slapped the water with his tiny fists and splash himself and her, while making all kinds of noises. Though he was getting cleaned, it was more of an adventure for him every time.

"Wait until he gets older," Fili laughed, "he won't be a fan of baths for long."

Sigrid smiled up at her husband, "how was hunting with your Uncle and Kili?"

"It was good," Fili answered. "It had been some time since it was the three of us. I enjoyed myself." He smiled as Frerin cooed and slapped the water harder as he looked up at him. "Is there room for one more?"

"Always," Sigrid said.

Fili quickly stripped and joined his wife and son in the bath. Both Fili and Sigrid laughed when Frerin all but lunged at his father.

"Come here, trouble," Fili took Frerin into his arms, bumping his nose with his own. He began to move around the water, pulling Frerin gently through the bubbles making the baby excited. When Frerin opened his hands, Fili pulled his son to his chest and brushed his finger against his palm, which in turn made Frerin wrap his fingers around his father's.

Sigrid sat back and watched her husband and son together and thought, _yes, I will cherish these moments. I'll dwell on the pure love and happiness that these moments make me experience._

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 ** _Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. :)_**


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